I’m relatively new to the whole marriage thing. I’ve only been married for 6 years…that pales in comparison to people who have been married for >20 years. I just wanted to share some ways that I try to show her my love…and some ways that I’m not very good at, but I feel are important. Some of these are more serious than others, but I think you’ll be able to figure it out.
1.) Send her flowers: And not the cheap, cheesy looking flowers either. This might seem like an obvious thing to do, but it is such a great way to show her your love.Take some time and find her some nice flowers. Don’t order the “50 flowers for $25″ special. They will more than likely show up then die the next day.
2.) Become less selfish: I know – This one is pretty vague, but I think it’s a very important point to consider. This is one of my biggest challenges and one of the many reasons for this blog. This includes things like; paying attention to her, spending time with her and really getting to know her. This might sound silly, but as you grow & change (see #9) you might loose sight of her goals and interests.
3.) Take care of the cars: Don’t make her go to the greasy, scum bag, 10-minute oil change places on her own. Be a man and take the car in for her. You’ll probably end up saving money too. The guys that work there are less likely to get a man to buy a new air filter and windshield wiper blades.
4.) Provide Stability: This includes emotional and financial stability. Your little Camelot won’t be able to take root and flourish if it doesn’t have solid ground to grow. You might find that you will benefit from offering stability as well.
5.) Take care of the creepy crawlies: This includes anything from harmless crickets to mice in the garage or attic. I haven’t met a women who enjoys confronting anything with more than 2 legs. Get a bug guy to treat your house, and be prepared to kill whatever makes it past the professional bug juice.
6.) Enjoy her happiness: Her happiness should be your happiness. This goes back to her confidence and you not being selfish. Nothing bad can come out of making your wife happy…and her happiness will only rub off on you.
7.) Drink coffee for energy: This one is especially important if you guys have kids. Don’t be the guy that comes home and doesn’t do squat. You’ll need the energy to keep up with kids and help do things around the house.
8.) Embrace her femininity: Okay – this one sounds cheesy, but don’t complain about her hair or nail appointments and expect her feel confident and look like a woman. This also goes for clothes and makeup shopping. The more confident she feels, the stronger connection you will have.
9.) Understand that things will change: Don’t think that you will be doing the same thing after you’ve been married 5, 7, or 10 years. And embrace this as a good thing. Encourage change and growth in your relationship.
10.) Provide Protection: And I don’t mean with a shotgun under the bed…although that may not be a bad idea to some. Like emotional and financial stability, you can offer protection in many ways…from taking care of the cars to being there for her and simply taking care of her.
Share your thoughts. Let me know what you feel is important and areas you could work on.
–TW
