Dad’s, Has This Ever Happened To You?

My daughter is going through a phase [at least I hope it's a phase] where she wants “mommy” to do everything. She’s been in a mommy-mood for the last 3 or 4 months and I need some help!

I can’t help put on shoes…
I can’t read to her at night…
I can’t get her dressed…
I can’t put juice in her cup…
I can’t console her at night if she wakes up…
I can’t be a part of her night time routine at all…
I can’t even change her diaper most of time.

If and when I try to help do these things (and countless others that are not listed here) all she does is say “No daddy…mommy do it”. If I keep trying to do whatever I’m doing, it just makes her MORE upset.

I’d love to be able to help with the night time routine and give my wife a break. I’d also love to be able to console my daughter if she gets upset at night. My poor wife has to drag herself out of bed every time she wakes up. This doesn’t happen too often, but now that she’s pregnant it makes it more difficult.

Has this ever happened to you? What sorts of things did you do to be able to break the cycle?

I am able to do a FEW things. My daughter carried some bananas all the way from the kitchen to the bathroom so I could peel on for her. My wife could care less about bananas and can’t open them as well as I can. Maybe my daughter is warming up to the idea about daddy helping out.

Please share your experiences here with me and with other readers. I’d love to know and so would my wife!

Tagged as: daughter, father, help, parenting, wife

tom

You need to get your wife on board with this. She needs to say things like "Your daddy can do that," or "Have your daddy help you," about half the time.

It is a phase and it will pass... but it will be easier and, I believe, help strengthen your relationship with her if both you and your wife are on the same page about it.

If this isn't possible, then don't press it. Just be there when she needs you and keep on loving them both.

Tyler @ Building Camelot

@Tom:

We have tried telling her that "it's daddy's turn" but we aren't consistent enough with her. I'm hoping that the phase ends soon. Come July, my wife can't take care of two little ones all by herself.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend.

Stephen

I agree with the consistency thing. If she gets it from both parents every time, she'll catch on. Our oldest is very meticulous: it has to be ONLY ONE WAY or the highway, so we run through that pretty often. We have to constantly remind her to be flexible. It's not easy!

blessed1

This is very normal behavior. Your wife has to help break the cycle by not coming everytime...especially now that she's pregnant. She needs to tell your daughter, "honey I would be more than happy to help, but I can't right now...your daddy is a great helper...he'll do it this one time." Or something in that direction. You both have to be consistent with this and please urge your wife not to feel guilty in changing this. She's going to feel like she's letting your daughter down, but she needs to take care of herself. She may even try explaining why she can't in respect to the baby. This is what worked for us. It will swing in no time to where all she'll want is you, not mommy....than it'll be mommy again. Again...completely absolutely normal. Great post.

dette

okay - I may not be a dad, but I've had this happen to me as a mom. MANY times!!

My youngest is with me ALL day EVERY day, but for some reason, if he's upset or has an "owee" - it's Dad he calls for. As if Mom isn't good enough.

lol - just kidding. I think he just wants both of there for him... they're too sweet, aren't they?