My day-to-day activities don’t revolve around fear, but I am aware of the fragile nature of life. I maintain a healthy respect for life and all the dangers that lurk around us everyday.
Now that I am a father, my responsibilities have changed more than I could have ever imagined. And with that responsibility comes a great sense of accomplishment and pride. What scares me the most are things that can take that away.
Loss Of A Child
My wife miscarried the first time she got pregnant. It was a difficult time in our life because we lost a child. We never knew if it was a boy or a girl because the miscarriage happened around 8 weeks. Luckily we were blessed with a beautiful daughter about a year later.
To this day, nothing in this world scares me more than the thought of losing one of my children.
I could not imagine living in a world without the amazing spirit of my daughter. She makes my days brighter in every way imaginable. Without her, my world would have no inspiration, love or sunshine.
Everyday I am thankful because I am undeserving of such a beautiful and healthy daughter. I know there are many parents and children out there that are not so lucky. They battle life and loss to a degree that I can’t imagine and for that, they are much stronger than me. My heart goes out to any parent that has had to suffer the loss of a child.
Loss Of My Wife
Next to loosing one of my children, loosing my wife is one of my biggest fears. I don’t question my ability to raise my daughters alone, but loosing my wife, their mother, would be devastating.
It would affect the way I would be as a man and as a father. [See my last point] I feel very strongly about kids being raised in a house with a mom and a dad and my wife provides so much balance in my life and in Olivia’s life.
I couldn’t bear to see my children grow up without their mother. I couldn’t bear to see my grand children grow up without their grandmother.
Loss Of Interaction
There is noting more magical in this world than being part of a child’s world and helping them grow up. When I’m with my daughter and she is figuring out something for the first time or just having a good time, I’m beside myself with happiness. It’s become such a part of my daily routine that I can’t imagine not being there as she grows up.
Can you imagine never seeing your children open another Christmas present? learn to ride a bike? ace a test? graduate high school?
I know some loss is inevitable as kids grow older and my role as father will change over time. Everyday when I drop off my daughter at school I can’t help but think “What if I lose all this?”
Loss Of Love
I want my daughter to call me 20 years from now and still love her dad that same way she does now — Okay, she doesn’t love me as much as she loves her mom but I don’t want to give her a reason not love me.
My heart melts every time my daughter gives me a hug or when she asks me to help her with something. I never want to lose that! I never want to give her a reason to never need or love her dad. I think this is another thing that dads have to work on.
Just like we do with our wives, we need to build our relationships with out children. We need to learn what they love, learn their fears and learn their dreams.
Loss Of My Self
People change…we all change. I don’t expect to be the exact same person 20 years from now as I am today. What scares me is the thought of loosing my sense of responsibility as a father to my children. If I lose my self then who will they turn to in times of need and hardship?
I don’t want to become apathetic about being a father. I never want to give up trying to become a better father for my children.
I’m not sure WHY you might give up trying to be a father - but that’s what scares me.
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My name is Tyler Wainright and thanks for visiting Building Camelot. I am married to my wife Mandy, we have a beautiful daugher named Olivia and another one on the way! This site was created to help all men become better fathers and husbands. If you don't want to miss any of my stories, add 
Good article. It’s tough to confront fears, but I guess that’s how we get over them. I’ve experienced loss, and it takes a long time to get over it. Your life is never really the same, although time always goes on and takes you with it. I’m sure it wasn’t easy writing this one.