How To Survive A Manssage

A “manssage”? What’s a “manssage” you ask?

Well…simply put, it’s a massage from another dude against your will.

Let me explain…

For Valentine’s Day the wife bought me – I mean us – a “togetherness massage” at a local salon called Natural Body.

It’s a one-hour, full-body massage together in a quiet, soothing room. We had our first togetherness massage at Natural Body about a year and a half ago and the whole experience was peaceful and relaxing.

This time was different.

Last time we we had 2 female massage therapists…this time? Two dudes.

When I called Natural Body to confirm our appointment the lady was real nice and said:

“I have your wife with Sally (<– not her real name) and I have you with a male therapist named Bruno (<– again, not his real name). Is that okay?”

I immediately became uncomfortable and I asked if there was anyway we could switch. The lady on the phone was real nice and said:

“We can switch, but Sally is excellent at giving prenatal massages and we wanted your wife to be a comfortable as possible”

I didn’t put up much of a fight because I didn’t want Mandy to have a bad experience, or worse, have some complications because of the massage. So, I sucked it up an took one for the team.

While we were waiting to go back to the room my wife could tell that I was uncomfortable…she kept saying “I wish you could enjoy this” and I would reply “Me too!” It’s not everyday that another man puts lotion on his hands and…um…massages me.

Sally called in sick that day so they assigned another person for my wife and we each ended up with male therapists…and I kept thinking about how this will make some great blog fodder.

How Did I Survive?

Without going into too much detail, here’s how to survive the manssage:

• Think: You’re doing it for your wife!
• Remember: It’s only temporary!
• Know: He probably doesn’t want to be touching you either
• Think: It will make for a funny story
• Hope: That there is a bar right down the street
• Find: An excuse to get another massage when your wife is not pregnant

After the ordeal, we headed to get some dinner and I had a drink in my hand right away. I left the manssage with more knots than when I started.

Bottom line is that my wife had a good experience and that’s all that really matters. Next time I’ll make sure and request a female therapist so I can actually enjoy my massage.

If you have a manssage story I’d love to hear about it! Leave me a comment below.

Tagged as: Alternative, date, Health, love, massage, natural body, pregnancy, togetherness massage, Valentine, valentines, wife