How Becoming A Father Will Make You A Better Man

My wife and I are literally days away from the birth of our second daughter. (Actually, the C-section is scheduled for July 24th) The last couple of weeks have seemed like the calm before the storm and my mind has been flooded with memories of when our first daughter was born and how much things have changed since then.

When I became a dad back in October of 2005, I had no idea what I was in for. My wife and I had trouble getting pregnant, and by the time the baby arrived I just knew I was ready and able to be a great dad. I never realized the impact that becoming a father would affect my life as a man.

As I sit here thinking back over all the sleepless nights, mounds of dirty diapers, frustrations and good times, I want to share with you some ways that becoming a father will help you become a better man. It won’t come overnight and it is certainly a learning process. If you’re about to, or just recently become a father I hope to shed some light on the awesomeness that is fatherhood.

You Will Learn What True Love Is

I’m convinced that anyone without children doesn’t have an idea of what true love really is…not that there isn’t a desire to know or that you’re capable of knowing true love, but it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to see your own heart, living and growing outside of your body every day. When you see your children grow up and learn even the smallest of things, it melts your heart.

And just when you think you can’t love them anymore, they come running up to you with a little card or painting they made for you and you can actually feel your heart growing inside your chest. It’s an amazing feeling and one that you can’t appreciate until you become a father.

True love is at the core of being a good father and a better man. It drives you to make better decisions for yourself and for your family. True love becomes the foundation for building your own modern day Camelot. The true love you have for your children will create a passion for improving your career, friendships, relationships and your overall well being. It’s amazing the effect of true love will do to even the toughest of hearts.

You Will Learn What You’re Made Of

In the three (almost) short years that I have been a father, I’ve learned a great deal about myself. My daughter has taught me things about myself that I never would have learned otherwise. How can one little person teach us so much about ourselves? I’m 30 years old…she’s only 2 1/2…but she has a way of making me think about and realize things that I never knew about myself.

As a father you’ll learn that you have a warrior side and a tender and meek side. Becoming a father brings out the warrior in you because, in your heart, you won’t let anything hurt the love of your life. Your children are an extension of your heart, so when they hurt…you hurt. Inside of every strong warrior is a tender side. The tender side allows you to care for and bond with your children. Until you become a father it’s hard to realize and balance those two sides of your manhood.

You Will Learn What True Priorities Are

Kids have a special way of helping you prioritize things in life. Activities you once thought were important are anything but after you have children. I don’t want that to sound negative in anyway…but your focus on things will change dramatically because you’ll realize the love you have (see first point) for your children far out weighs just about everything else.

Strong men need balance in their lives. I think where most men struggle is with the definition of balance and how much is needed to stay strong. We all need our times with friends or by ourselves, but you can’t hang out with the family for 8 hours on a Saturday and expect to be able belly up at the bar for 8 hours that evening.

The reality of fatherhood is that a great deal of your time is needed to nurture and protect your family. From there you’ll learn what your priorities are and be able to determine how you to work them into your so-called free time.

You Will Learn To Trust Your Instincts

When Olivia showed up, I hadn’t changed a diaper in…well…ever. But, within a few short hours after she was born I was able to un-swaddle her…change her diaper…swaddle her up again and wash my hands all within 3-4 minutes. I remember because I could do all that during a commercial break. It didn’t take much for me to realize that my “parenting” skills were there and that I shouldn’t question my approach to raising my two daughters.

When you become a father you’ll have many days of doubt and discouragement. Those days allow and teach you to listen to and respond to those voices in your head. Becoming a father means stumbling all over the place but you get up and try it again. The challenges fathers face make you stronger in the workplace and other places away from the home. Don’t let anyone make you judge your fatherhood skills.

Share your thoughts…what about fatherhood has made you a better man? What aspects of your manhood make you a better father? Leave me a comment below…I’d love to hear from you.

Tagged as: become a better father, become a better man, becoming a father, father, fatherhood and manhood, how to, Parent, parenting